Personal pronouns in Japanese: how to use them

Japanese personal pronouns work differently from English. They change depending on who’s speaking, who you’re addressing, and the social relationship between the two people. Choosing the right word is as much about social positioning as it is about grammar.

The art of omission: the invisible subject

The first rule to remember about Japanese pronouns is that they’re not used systematically. In English, saying “eat an apple” is incorrect. In Japanese, it’s the norm.
If the context is clear, drop the pronoun. If someone asks:
元気ですか (Genki desu ka – Are [you] well?), the natural response is:
はい、元気です (Hai, genki desu – Yes, [I] am well).
Adding “Watashi wa” (I) at the beginning of this sentence would sound unnatural, even insistent. Personal pronouns are mainly used to:

• Clarify the subject if there’s ambiguity.
• Add emphasis (I, for one, think that…).
• Introduce oneself for the first time.

To read and understand these nuances in texts, mastering the Japanese writing systems is a major asset, as pronouns are often written in kanji.

Saying “I”: defining yourself through language

There isn’t a single word for “I”, but a multitude of options that define your identity and social rank.

Watashi (私): The standard

This is the most common term. It’s written 私 and pronounced watashi.

• For whom: Everyone.
• Usage: Formal for men, standard for women.
• Context: Work, strangers, daily life.

It’s the safe choice. If you’re hesitating, use watashi.

Watakushi (私): The very polite version

It’s written with the same kanji as watashi (私) but pronounced watakushi.

• For whom: Men and women.
• Usage: Very formal.
• Context: Official speeches, formal apologies, customer service, job interviews.

Boku (僕): The gentle masculine

This pronoun is written 僕 and read boku.

• For whom: Mainly men and young boys.
• Usage: Polite but less distant than watashi.
• Context: Among friends, with colleagues of the same rank, or to show a certain humility.

In pop culture, some “tomboyish” girls (boku-kko) use it, but it’s rare in reality.

Ore (俺): The virile masculine

It’s written 俺 and pronounced ore.

• For whom: Men only.
• Usage: Casual, sometimes vulgar or arrogant depending on context.
• Context: Among close friends, in family, or to assert one’s masculinity.

Warning: Never use ore with a hierarchical superior or a stranger. This would be perceived as blatant rudeness. It’s the favourite pronoun of shōnen manga heroes (like Naruto or Luffy), but real life requires more tact.

Atashi (あたし): The casual feminine

This is a shortened version of watashi. It’s often written in hiragana あたし.

• For whom: Women.
• Usage: Casual and “cute”.
• Context: Among girlfriends, in family.

It gives a soft and feminine tone to the sentence.

Jibun (自分): The neutral or military

It’s written 自分 and literally means “oneself”.

• For whom: Often men, athletes, or military personnel.
• Usage: Distant, disciplined.
• Context: Sports world, police, army, or at work to avoid the overly soft nuance of “boku” or too rough of “ore”.

Pronoun	Main gender	Politeness level
Watakushi (私)	Neutral	Very formal
Watashi (私)	Neutral	Standard / Formal
Boku (僕)	Male	Standard / Casual
Ore (俺)	Male	Casual / Vulgar
Atashi (あたし)	Female	Casual

Saying “You”: The minefield

This is where most English speakers make mistakes. The concept of formal/informal direct address doesn’t exist in the same way. Addressing someone with a pronoun is often considered impolite or distant.

The golden rule: Name + Suffix

Instead of saying “Would you like some coffee?”, Japanese people say “Would Tanaka-san like some coffee?”.
We use the family name (or first name for close people) followed by an honorific suffix:

• San (さん): Mr/Mrs/Ms (Standard).
• Kun (君): For boys or subordinates.
• Chan (ちゃん): For children, animals, or close female friends.
• Sensei (先生): For teachers, doctors, authors.

Anata (貴方): The false friend

Beginner textbooks teach anata (あなた) as the translation of “you”. It’s technically true, but socially risky.

• Problem: Used towards a stranger, it’s distant. Used towards a superior, it’s impolite.
• Specific usage: Women sometimes use it to address their husband, with the meaning of “Darling”.

Avoid anata if you know the person’s name.

Kimi (君): The superior’s “you”

It’s written 君 and read kimi.

• Usage: A superior addressing a subordinate, or between close friends (men).
• Risk: Don’t use it towards your boss or an elder.

Omae (お前): The aggressive or very intimate “you”

It’s written お前 and read omae.

• Usage: Between very close men, or to speak angrily to someone you despise.
• Risk: Very high. To be banned in professional or polite contexts.

Temee (手前) and Kisama (貴様): The insults

You’ll hear these in fighting anime. Temee (てめえ) and Kisama (貴様) express open hostility. They translate to “bastard” or “you bloody…”. Never use them in normal conversation, even as a joke, unless you’re looking for a fight.

Third person: He and She

Referring to a third person also requires caution as the words used have a romantic double meaning.

Kare (彼) and Kanojo (彼女)

• Kare (彼): Means “He”, but also “Boyfriend”.
• Kanojo (彼女): Means “She”, but also “Girlfriend”.

Context helps differentiate.
Example 1: 彼は学生です (Kare wa gakusei desu) -> He is a student.
Example 2: 彼女がいますか (Kanojo ga imasu ka) -> Do you have a girlfriend? (Literally: Is there a she?)

Neutral and polite alternatives

To avoid ambiguity or to be more respectful, we use demonstratives linked to the person’s position.

• Ano hito (あの人): That person (over there). Neutral and common.
• Ano kata (あの方): That person (over there). Very polite version.

We can also use:

• Kono hito (この人): This person (near me).
• Sono hito (その人): That person (near you).

Plurals: We, You, They

Japanese doesn’t radically change the word for plural. We simply add a suffix to the singular pronoun.

The standard suffix: -tachi (達)

This is the most common and versatile.

• Watashi-tachi (私たち): We.
• Anata-tachi (あなたたち): You (group).
• Kimitachi (君たち): You (group, casual/towards subordinates).
• Kanojotachi (彼女たち): They (feminine).

The casual suffix: -ra (ら)

Adds a nuance of informal group, often used with masculine pronouns.

• Orera (俺ら): We (bunch of mates).
• Bokura (僕ら): We.
• Karera (彼ら): They (This is the standard term for “they”, more common than karetachi).

The honorific suffix: -gata (方)

Used to elevate the group you’re addressing.

• Anata-gata (あなた方): You (very polite).
• Sensei-gata (先生方): The teachers (respectful).

Possession: My, Your, His

There are no specific words like “my”, “your”, “his” in Japanese. The logic is much simpler: we use the possessive particle no (の).
The formula is: Possessor + no + Object.

• My cat: Watashi no neko (私の猫).
• Your book: Tanaka-san no hon (田中さんの本) – Note the use of name instead of “your”.
• His car: Kare no kuruma (彼の車).
• Our house: Watashi-tachi no ie (私たちの家).

This construction works with all the pronouns seen above.

• Ore no (casual): Mine.
• Boku no (gentle): Mine.

It’s exactly the same mechanism as for greetings in Japanese: learning the basic structure is enough to build complex sentences. Once you’ve chosen the pronoun according to context, simply add “no” to transform it into a possessive.

Summary table of pronouns

Here’s a visual tool to memorise the correspondences quickly.

Person	Polite / Neutral	Casual (Masc.)	Casual (Fem.)	Very Polite
I	Watashi	Boku / Ore	Atashi	Watakushi
You	Name + San	Kimi / Omae	Name + Chan/San	Name + Sama
He / She	Kare / Kanojo	Aitsu (vulgar)	Kanojo	Ano kata
We	Watashi-tachi	Orera / Bokura	Atashi-tachi	Watakushi-domo

The choice of pronoun is a powerful social indicator that immediately informs about the relationship between speakers. Start with Watashi and Name+San, it’s the solid foundation for not offending anyone.