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Formal address in Italian: how and when to use it

In brief
  • Singular formal address: Use “Lei” (3rd person singular) with a capital letter
  • Plural formal address: Use “Loro” (3rd person plural) with a capital letter
  • Conjugation: Verbs are conjugated in the 3rd person, not the 2nd
  • Formal situations: Unknown people, hierarchical superiors, professional contexts
  • Informal situations: Family, close friends, people of the same age
Formal address in Italian represents a fundamental aspect of politeness and respect in communication. This form of linguistic courtesy allows one to adapt their speech according to the social context and the relationship with their interlocutor.

Pronouns for Italian formal address

Italian has two distinct forms of formal address depending on the number of people being addressed.

Singular formal address with “Lei”

To address a single person respectfully, Italian uses “Lei” (She) with a capital letter. This pronoun corresponds to the third person singular feminine, but applies equally to both men and women. Examples:
  • Lei parla italiano? (Do you speak Italian?)
  • Come sta Lei? (How are you?)
  • Lei è molto gentile (You are very kind)

Plural formal address with “Loro”

To address several people formally, Italian uses “Loro” (They) with a capital letter. This pronoun corresponds to the third person plural. Examples:
  • Loro vengono dall’Italia? (Do you come from Italy?)
  • Cosa desiderano Loro? (What do they desire?)
  • Loro sono i benvenuti (You are welcome)

Conjugation with formal address

Verb conjugation with formal address follows third person rules, unlike French which uses the second person plural.

Regular verbs in formal address

Verbs are conjugated according to their group, but always in the third person.
Verb Informal (tu) Singular formal (Lei) Plural formal (Loro)
Parlare (to speak) Tu parli Lei parla Loro parlano
Credere (to believe) Tu credi Lei crede Loro credono
Sentire (to hear) Tu senti Lei sente Loro sentono

The auxiliaries “essere” and “avere”

The auxiliaries also follow this rule of third person conjugation. Essere (to be):
  • Lei è italiana? (Are you Italian?)
  • Loro sono studenti (You are students)
Avere (to have):
  • Lei ha tempo? (Do you have time?)
  • Loro hanno ragione (You are right)

Modal and irregular verbs in formal address

The most common modal and irregular verbs maintain their conjugation peculiarities in the third person.
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Modal verbs

Potere (can/to be able to):
  • Lei può aiutarmi? (Can you help me?)
  • Loro possono venire domani (You can come tomorrow)
Dovere (must/to have to):
  • Lei deve firmare qui (You must sign here)
  • Loro devono aspettare (You must wait)
Volere (to want):
  • Cosa vuole Lei? (What do you want?)
  • Loro vogliono partire (You want to leave)

Common irregular verbs

Fare (to do/make):
  • Lei fa il medico? (Are you a doctor?)
  • Loro fanno sport (You do sport)
Andare (to go):
  • Lei va al lavoro? (Do you go to work?)
  • Loro vanno in vacanza (You are going on holiday)
Venire (to come):
  • Lei viene con noi? (Are you coming with us?)
  • Da dove vengono Loro? (Where do you come from?)

When to use formal address

The choice between informal and formal address depends on several social and contextual factors.

Situations requiring formal address

Formal address is necessary in formal contexts and with certain people:
  • Unknown people: Scusi, Lei sa dov’è la stazione? (Excuse me, do you know where the station is?)
  • Hierarchical superiors: Lei ha ragione, direttore (You are right, director)
  • Elderly people: Come sta oggi, signora? (How are you today, madam?)
  • Commercial contexts: Cosa desidera Lei? (What would you like?)
  • Administrations: Lei deve compilare questo modulo (You must fill in this form)

Situations allowing informal address

Informal address is suitable in informal contexts and with close people:
  • Family: Come stai, mamma? (How are you, mum?)
  • Friends: Vieni con noi stasera? (Are you coming with us tonight?)
  • Close colleagues: Hai finito il lavoro? (Have you finished work?)
  • People of the same age: Di dove sei? (Where are you from?)

Polite expressions with formal address

Formal address is accompanied by specific polite expressions that reinforce respect.

Formal greetings

  • Buongiorno, come sta? (Good morning, how are you?)
  • Buonasera, signora (Good evening, madam)
  • Arrivederci, dottore (Goodbye, doctor)
  • La ringrazio molto (Thank you very much)

Polite requests

  • Potrebbe aiutarmi, per favore? (Could you help me, please?)
  • Scusi, può ripetere? (Excuse me, can you repeat?)
  • Mi perdoni il disturbo (Forgive me for disturbing you)
  • La prego, si accomodi (Please, make yourself comfortable)
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The transition from formal to informal address

The transition from formal to informal address follows certain Italian social conventions.

The invitation to use informal address

This transition is generally made through an explicit invitation:
  • Possiamo darci del tu? (Can we use informal address?)
  • Diamoci del tu (Let’s use informal address)
  • Preferisco il tu, se non Le dispiace (I prefer informal address, if you don’t mind)

Situations of natural transition

Certain contexts facilitate this transition:
  • Work relationships that evolve into friendship
  • Repeated meetings in a relaxed setting
  • People of similar age sharing common interests
  • Invitations to informal social events

Practical exercise

Test your knowledge by choosing the correct form of formal address:
Question 1: How do you politely ask “Where do you live?” to an unknown person?
We use “Lei abita” (3rd person singular) to formally address one person.
Question 2: To formally address a group of customers, you say:
To formally address a group, we use “Loro” (3rd person plural).
Question 3: In which context do we use informal address?
Informal address is suitable with close people: family, friends, intimate colleagues.
Question 4: How do you conjugate “avere” in singular formal address?
With “Lei”, the verb “avere” is conjugated as “ha” (3rd person singular).
Question 5: Which sentence expresses a polite request in formal address?
“Può aiutarmi, per favore?” uses formal address with politeness.
Question 6: To suggest using informal address, you can say:
“Possiamo darci del tu?” is the standard expression for suggesting informal address.