How to say how are you in Italian: come stai, come sta, come va

Asking how someone is doing is part of the basic politeness reflexes in Italian, almost more systematically than in English. Three formulas cover most situations, with a verb trap that catches almost every English-speaking beginner.

Come stai and Come sta: informal and formal

The distinction follows exactly that of the informal and formal “you”: stai for tu, sta for Lei.

This switch between stai and sta follows the same logic as the formal address in Italian: to an older stranger or in a professional setting, come stai? would sound out of place.

When doubt persists between informal and formal address, salve acts as a wildcard: this neutral greeting, neither formal nor informal, pairs equally well with come sta? or come va?

Salve, tutto bene?
Hello, everything okay?

Come va: the formula that works everywhere

Come va completely avoids the question of register, making it the safest choice for a learner hesitating between tu and Lei.

Allora, come va il nuovo lavoro?
So, how’s the new job going?

Come va can ask about a person’s general state as well as how a specific situation is unfolding, as in this example about work.

The verb trap: stare, not essere

English says “I am well,” using the verb “to be.” Italian uses stare, never essere, to talk about one’s current state.

This confusion remains the number one mistake for English-speaking beginners. The verb stare deserves to be clearly distinguished from the conjugation of the verb “to be” in Italian: the two exist side by side, but cannot substitute for each other in this specific usage.

A second, more subtle trap consists of mixing registers within the same sentence: pairing ciao with come sta?, or the reverse, sounds inconsistent to a native ear. The register must remain the same from the beginning to the end of the exchange, on the greeting as well as on the question that follows.

Answering the question

Italian nuances the degrees between “very well” and “very bad” much more finely than English. Three families of responses cover the entire spectrum.

Non c’è male, e tu?
Not bad, and you?

Non c’è male remains ambiguous for an English speaker: literally “there is no bad,” the expression is closer to a neutral “it’s okay, nothing more” than to a real complaint.

Asking for specific news

Beyond the general question, Italians readily ask for targeted updates: family, work, a recovery.

Come sta la famiglia? Tutti bene, spero.
How’s the family? Everyone’s well, I hope.

Colorful expressions for feeling very good or very bad

Some expressions go beyond a simple bene or male to paint a state in a more vivid way.

Returning the politeness

As in English, an answer is almost always accompanied by a question in return, adapted to the same register as the initial question.

Omitting this follow-up would come across as a lack of interest, almost rudeness, in an Italian conversation.

A casual variant: Tutto bene?

Tutto bene?, literally “everything okay?”, works as a quick check-in, often used to verify a specific situation rather than the person’s general state.

Tutto bene con la famiglia?
Everything okay with the family?

Practical exercise

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